Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Bar Fight Was Super Intense (VIDEO)

By Lex July 30, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

No matter where you fall on the pussy scale of life, it’s super important at any given moment in your life to not be the biggest pussy in the room. The second biggest pussy skates. The biggest pussy is singled out by the pack and devoured. Look around the room. If you’re not sure if you’re the one, you’re the one. Get the fuck out.

Orlando Bloom nearly landed a swipe to Justin Bieber’s smug maw at a club in Ibiza after the two fay combatants exchanged words. There’s a true gangster history between these sub-150 lb. scooter riders since Justin claimed he got busy with Miranda Kerr backstage at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Then Orlando took Selena Gomez on a date after he got divorced. It was some real sit-com love triangle stuff that finally exploded in Ibiza when Bieber did that bitch ‘I want to shake your hand’ move. Orlando came back with a few choice words in perfect Elizabethan English then Bieber squeaked something about Miranda Kerr’s vagina and Orlando tried to smite him but missed. The 47 bodyguards who keep Bieber from getting in real fights hustled the tiny Canadian around in increasingly small circles until they were all trapped in the center of a vortex of shame. I’ve seen some good bar fights in my time. This wasn’t one of them. Thanks to WorldStarHipHop I can tell you this wasn’t even a good girl fight.

Shortly after, Justin Bieber retreated with his posse and posted a photo of Miranda Kerr in a bikini to Instagram. You could almost feel John Wayne’s fist stirring in his grave.

Here’s Orlando earlier in the day in Ibiza. He looked so summery. Why did Justin have to ruin his day?

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    Ironman01 07/30/2014 11:22

    I showed the video to my cat, a real pussy, my cat couldn’t believe what she saw.either.

  2. avatar
    NormaDesperate 07/30/2014 11:38

    fighting over a ‘ho. tsk, tsk boys, didn’t you learn about good sportsmanship and sharing toys??

  3. avatar
    scallywag 07/30/2014 13:19

    New video has emerged showing the moment Orlando Bloom taking a swing at Biebs with the punch to only be pared down by Biebs handler, the video comes as a result of a Swedish guest who rather than delete footage as has been requested by the club sent it off to the tabloids instead …


  4. avatar
    SigmaEW 07/30/2014 13:24

    I would much rather hang out with Orlando Bloom’s crew… Bieber had those nasty ass hookers over a week or so ago

  5. avatar
    miche the killer 07/31/2014 22:12

    Don’t care how much of a twink you think he is, I’d go Everglades on Orlando any day. I don’t know, it was the best I could muster.

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