Toni Garrn Topless on a Boat

By Lex July 29, 2014 @ 3:20 PM

Toni Garrn Goes Topless On A Yacht In Ibiza
Leonardo DiCaprio is not a man with a ton of time to waste. If you discount clubbing, karate kicking, and deep musing, he’s a very busy guy who medically requires sex five times a day with somebody with a modeling card in Frankfurt and Milan. Clothes take time to remove. Fancy model clothes take even more time. Then there’s that whole bit about wrinkling them or how it’s impossible to get horse pee out of silk. Total bother even for the man with nothing but time. Leo has no time. It’s best you just wait for him on the boat with as little as you can wear without being arrested by Interpol. You know who liked to wear clothes? Bar Refaeli. Now she’s running homing beacons into Hamas apartments. Anything more than a thong bottom and you can swim back to shore. DiCaprio, out.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 07/29/2014 17:07

    Hey Lex, we know you’re using Leo’s bitch as an excuse to write about your man-crush, and that you pray to one day openly pen articles about that basketball-headed manchild in all his homoerotic glory. You’ve turned Toni Garrn into a stalking horse with tits.

    If you posted these without captions, it would give you more time to bring Big L to completion and I wouldn’t have to hear about him daily. Everyone wins.

  2. avatar
    PingaTip 07/30/2014 10:46

    Lex, your posts are absolutely unreadable. Even in the unlikely event that you had something funny to say, I wouldn’t be able get through your jumbled prose to find a punchline.

  3. avatar
    Beppo 07/31/2014 06:31

    I’m mildly aroused

  4. avatar
    Azs 08/05/2014 12:16

    Not toni garrn. It’s mathilda jansson c-model from sweden. Daily mail posted this as toni to but it’s not and you can see that if you look closely

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