Blake Lively Castrating Ryan Reynolds

By Matt August 11, 2014 @ 11:15 AM

Lively

Blake Lively says her husband Ryan Reynolds is incredibly involved in her lifestyle website Preserve. The site is made up of yuppy instagram porn featuring gourmet culinary items and overpriced trust fund hipster garbage such as vintage bow ties. A kind of earthy existentialist eBay for the conscientious consumer who really wants to talk about their purchases. There is also a vague connection to philanthropy, a device to alleviate guilt on the part of anyone who buys 25 dollar barbecue sauce and feels bad about the homeless guy outside of Pier 1. Part of the site’s cringe worthy manifesto reads:

“Sometimes we walk proudly. Other times we stumble gracelessly. Yet we take each step with a generous measure of never-ending curiosity and wonder. We remain in awe of the folks and folkways existing around us. We want to learn about them, embrace them…preserve them.”

Ryan Reynolds is apparently really into the site, or at least gives half hearted nods when Lively is yammering about the inconsequential bullshit that rich people waste money on.

“There is nothing that goes through that I don’t run by him. On the site, when I’m doing photo kills I’ll say, ‘What photos do you think? This one or do you think that one?’ And I love that he challenges me. He’s someone that I trust when he challenges me.”

Notice he did not even slip a word in during her relaying of the process. Reynolds knows you have to pick your battles, and while Lively is droning on about what organic peanut butter goes well with artisan celery, he is plotting his next move. It most likely involves ordering pizza, watching hockey, and committing massive amounts of infidelity.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

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(1) Comment

  1. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 08/11/2014 13:20

    Sounds like Gwyneth Paltrow 2.0, now with TITS!

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