Bradley Cooper’s Girlfriend Secured Aboard the Lesbian Flagship

Cara Delevingne invited Bradley Cooper’s middle school aged girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse, to spend a couple days on her yacht off the coast of Spain. You might recall this sea-faring vessel as the place where Selena Gomez was indoctrinated to the magic of another woman lapping at her vagina like a hungry kitty to a saucer of milk. There’s nothing wrong with girl on girl sex so long as it doesn’t involve Rosie O’Donnell. Aboard a yacht between two young British girls with pronounced unibrows, it’s really something special. Bradley Cooper’s dick will move on, adapt, conquer more teenage pussy. But the rest of us might consider petitioning Obama to drone this floating Isle of Lesbos before it gets to our girls. I don’t care how much of a porn star you think you are, you can’t compete with vanilla scented candles, the L Word soundtrack, and a skinny girl who can find a clit in the dark.

Photo Credit: Splash, AKM-GSI