The disgusting last option eatery Denny’s is opening its first New York City location in the Financial District. Denny’s had previously stayed out of New York because people who live there can afford to dine where pubic hair isn’t a standard garnish. This Denny’s is going to differ from the chain’s usual motif of Thunderbird wrecked homeless people and blacked out frat boys and instead feature an upscale vibe. The menu contains a $300 dollar Grand Cru Slam, which is two Grand Slam breakfasts, a bottle of Don P, and a “Bartender high five.” After you wash your hands you may want to check with the expense accounts department at your firm, because you have just been fucking fired. Opening a Denny’s in the Financial District makes as much sense as opening an Aria in Skid Row. I look for this to last about two months before its converted into a Taco Bell where salary men can quickly get in and out and avoid the public shaming of their self abuse.
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