ESPN Digs Deep on Michael Sam’s Shower Routine (VIDEO)

By Matt August 27, 2014 @ 12:52 PM

ESPN reporter Josina Anderson did a lengthy report on Michael Sam’s showering situation from the St Louis Rams training camp. Anderson was discussing how Sam was ‘fitting in’ and then launched into a Watergate style recap of whether or not Sam had been showering with other players, presumably in order to stare cravenly at their man meat. She provided a few team sources who basically could neither confirm nor deny that Sam was using the showers. This was unfortunate because everyone watching and voicing how inappropriate we found this really wanted to know. Even the ardent homophobes were hoping to get a blow by blow of who was sudsing who beneath the spigots. ESPN offered an apology making it seem like this dick sighting quest will be stopped in its tracks:

“ESPN regrets the manner in which we presented our report. Clearly yesterday we collectively failed to meet the standards we have set in reporting on LGBT-related topics in sports.”

Obviously, changes had to be made after their hour long piece back in the day on how Greg Louganis is able to hide his boners seeing so many ripped Chinese dudes in Speedos during diving meets. Being the first gay NFL player is probably not easy, so lets assume Michael Sam isn’t a total moron. Even though he made his big visual cake kissing statement on draft day, he will likely refrain from overtly staring at his teammates naked bodies in the shower, and instead take mental images to masturbate to later. Like a professional.

(2) Comments

  1. avatar
    miche the killer 08/27/2014 14:27

    I like that “fitting in” has nothing to do with his performance on the field, but apparently is code for “are the other team members beating him with soap bars stuffed in socks b/c he might be checking their schlongs out”. Even the team professionals she interviewed wouldn’t talk to her about it b/c anyone could see this was a stupid f’ing thing to talk about.

  2. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 08/28/2014 08:32

    “First gay NFL player” my foot. Plenty of gays played in the NFL, Jerry Smith died of AIDS for crying out loud.

    But more importantly, ESPN is so fĂșcking worthless it is unbelievable.

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