Jessica Simpson Butters the Family Bread

It’s not easy living in Jessica Simpson’s shadow. She makes the billions selling shoddy consumer wares. She gets to cry when pastor dad says he prefers banging young male ass over vagina. Millions of women live and die with her bathroom scale readings. All Ashlee gets are her chances at failed D-list celebrity marriages. Now Jessica Simpson is taking that away too. Jessica set up a bridal shower for her little sister to celebrate her latest marriage, this time to Diana Ross’s son. Jessica arranged for a swimsuit theme so she could basically show off her freshly toned body and touched up tits in photos from the party where she pimped her Weight Watchers endorsements.  It seems rather crass. Until you realize everybody is counting on Jessica to fuel the family budget.

Being a gay cougar or looking frumpy and singing off-key does not a family fortune make. Expect to see Jessica’s selfies in a revealing negligee from Ashlee’s wedding and perhaps a naughty nurses outfit when the next baby is born. Jessica is carrying the Simpson family on her shoulders like Atlas with a semi-decent boob job. Heaven help her, she’s a good woman.

Photo credit: Jessica Simpson/Instagram