Kanye West Shows His Cards

By Matt August 28, 2014 @ 6:13 AM


Kanye West became increasingly forthcoming during an ongoing deposition for a lawsuit with a paparazzi who accused West of assault. West was hostile during earlier depositions but when your expensive lawyers tell you to start acting contrite even the most ardent rebels tend to listen. West reversed his earlier stance on hatred for the paparazzi:

“My father was a paparazzo himself. My father was a medical illustrator, a Black Panther, a Christian marriage counselor… My mother was the first black chair of the English department in Chicago State. They didn’t raise me to be out here wrestling with random paparazzi in front of LAX… Sometimes I get in the car with the paparazzi. Paparazzi help me to park.”

Kanye’s dad had so many jobs. He sounds really hard working. No wonder Kanye has the drive to create so many mediocre rap albums. He’s living in the shadow of his father. That explains the frustration and anger toward the very people who help him to be famous and rich. His tear ducts probably leak like a broken faucet when the paparazzi help him park his Lamborghini. Fucking A, guys, you really are the best. I’m sorry I tried to put you in a headlock and punch you in the face. I carry lots of emotional baggage.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 08/28/2014 07:25

    The Black Panthers were/ are a militarized hate group. Sound familiar? Nazis.

    How many (smart) people would say use the “My father was an illustrator and a Nazi” as a defense for assaulting a Jew? Kanye is a special kind of dumb.

  2. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 08/28/2014 08:24

    “Kanye” is Swahili for “self-absorbed cùntface douchenozzle”, although some nuances get lost in the translation.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 08/28/2014 10:11

    I bet his dad was an itinerant card player and his mom was a mail carrier. Every time K’anye opens his mouth, I feel like we’re playing a game to see who can bullshit the best.

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