Kim Kardashian posted a topless photo of herself getting fitted for a wedding dress. Kim was forced to wait for several hours as her Beverly Hills designers kidnapped an old woman from Prague who could hand sew to such extreme convex body measurements. After she completed knitting the extreme dress, the elderly Czech fell ill and passed away within a couple seconds. Secrecy was paramount prior to the official selling of the wedding photos.
It is a mystery why anyone would find a topless photo of Kardashian titillating when you could simply Google a video of her getting pounded in traditional porno lighting with her nipples, vagina, and asshole exposed. Usually you work up to that. If I had seen my high school girlfriend getting lotion slammed by Ray J I probably would have skipped first base all together and gone straight to public orgies beneath the bleachers. Apparently Kim’s legal team has sued the Internet into believing anyone still gives a shit about seeing her naked.
Photo Credit: Instagram