Lands End Catalog Subscribers Horrified

By Lex August 14, 2014 @ 2:40 PM

Emily-Ratajkowski-Poses-Nude-And-Covered-In-Dirt-For-The-July-2014-Issue-Of-GQ-lb

Lands’ End, the catalog for women going through menopause who still want to appear breezy, accidentally mailed complementary copies of GQ magazine to a bunch of their subscribers. Catalog companies often do team up with the dying magazine business to send out targeted complementary subscriptions to demos they think might rescue their print operations for another couple of years. But this particular GQ copy had Emily Ratajkowski unclad on the cover which immediately sent the moms swooning to the feinting couch, then to Facebook to the Land’s End page to act like moms you hate:

My 14-year-old son brought in the mail today & was quite disturbed & fascinated by a ‘gift’ Lands’ End sent us — a copy of GQ magazine with an absolutely OBSCENE cover!!!

I’m going to guess your boy was more fascinated than disturbed. If it’s the other way around, your son is gay. Talk to him and tell him you love him as a person, though obviously not as much as his brother who excels in sports.

“We received your ‘Lands’ End Bonus’ of GQ magazine this weekend, and we are absolutely horrified. How can buying something as family friendly as school uniforms lead to soft porn in the mailbox? I’m thankful my son did not bring in the mail.”

Another mom worried that her son might see tits. Just a hint, mom. He’s probably surfing xHamster on the iPad while you’re posting pictures of your hydrangeas and hydrating menopausal suppositories in your Facebook updates. Just be glad he’s not gay like the kid above.

I ordered Christian private school children’s uniforms from your company and you sold my home address to a magazine company that peddles in soft porn for men???.”

Women sure do love to use the p-word. I wonder if they realize that 70% of the world thinks porn is more awesome than oxygen. GQ is about as porny as most bus stop perfume ads. It’s mostly dudes in designer suits knotting their ties and pretending to talk at cocktail parties. Land’s End issued numerous heartfelt apologies to the overwrought ladies in their readership. They offered to send them each a faux cashmere wrap perfect for letting your husband know you would prefer to not have sex ever again.

Photo Credit: GQ

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(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    pk20152 08/15/2014 03:22

    And this is why horny rejected boys go and shoot up their schools with semiautomatic guns… their mothers shame them into thinking sex is bad and you shouldn’t have these evil thoughts.

  2. avatar
    Roadshitter6.5 08/15/2014 05:46

    Ignore those boobs, Timmy. Now put down that filth and go watch gratuitous violence on tv.

  3. David Hendrickson 08/15/2014 19:53

    That would be a “complimentary” copy of GC, which would cause women to retire to their “fainting” couch. Apparently, working knowledge of the English language is not required at this blog.

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