Immigration doesn't seem like such a head scratching social issue when viewed through the lens of Laura Cremaschi's mons pubis. Cremaschi is a political asylum candidate in the U.S. ever since she got caught hostessing the Italian Prime Minister's teen bacchanalias. If you consider that for every one of these Cremaschis, we get thirty thousand Central American pre-teens who can de-tick a burro and patch holes in burlap, that seems like a solid plan. Good job, Washington. You may now take a three month vacation.
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