In her first tome, Brunette Ambition, Lea Michele regaled her fans with tips on perseverance, healthy diet, ways to feel respected while fucking your co-workers, and the best way to hide demon bumps from your boyfriend. It was a unique opportunity for teen girls and female teachers sleeping with teen boys to hear directly from Lea, or, you know, that middle aged dude who ghost writes all the teen female celebrity books. His name is Howard. I’ve met him. Nice guy for a dream robber.
With the speed at which Lea is putting out books, it’s amazing she has time left to well up desperately melancholy speeches for teen choice award shows. But time management is something certain to earn a chapter in her next literary offering. If only she can find where she left that damn pencil. Fuck you, pencil.
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