Michael Brown Was the Convenience Store Robbing Kind of Saint (VIDEO)

By Lex August 15, 2014 @ 1:34 PM

While we’re decades past the era any news outlet is going to wait an entire several days to get an accurate story to report, maybe they could say something like ‘First! But, yeah, we are wrong 89% of the time.’ My crappy reporting is more accurate than cable TV news outlets and I don’t even try. Really, I don’t try at all.

Video surveillance released today shows the dead Ferguson teen, Michael Brown, described by friends and family as made of 100% warm and fuzzy and on his way to college, was actually the 6’4, 290 pound dude muscling a tiny convenience store owner in a petty robbery. Darren Wilson, the officer who shot Michael Brown, had no idea that Brown had just robbed a convenience store. Which fills in a nice missing piece for why Brown might have reacted violently to the police officer who was trailing him and telling him to get over to the sidewalk. A convenience store robbery certainly puts your Harvard chances at risk.

None of this has anything to do with asshole cops, racist cops, tanks in the streets, the justice system bias against minorities, civil rights, lady justice, or why the Raiders are allowed to still be an NFL franchise. It’s just another turd on the modern state of journalism. You can’t hold your turds in. You’ll end up like Elvis.

wwtdd

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    658811 08/15/2014 21:21

    Pot, meet Kettle. (concerning journalism)

  2. avatar
    Admiral 08/15/2014 22:27

    And Obama sinks another putt and laughs.

  3. avatar
    yukdumboo 08/16/2014 06:05

    Get a load of this guy justifying this kid dying for robbing some Swisher Sweets! God bless your beloved police state.

  4. Brian Thompson 08/16/2014 15:28

    Get a load of white guilt justifying some ghetto trash gang member thief attacking the store owner and going for a cop’s gun. He can rot with saint Trayvon.

  5. avatar
    Jay-Mase 08/16/2014 21:00

    Nice op-ed Lex, I’m smelling a Pulitzer.

  6. avatar
    Beylerbey 08/17/2014 13:46

    It’s never just Swisher Sweets, chode.

    People who have never spent time around these creatures are easy to spot.

  7. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 08/18/2014 08:19

    Keep on shootin’, boys. These thugs are a dime a dozen and can’t run far with their pants around their fÅ«cking knees.

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