Michael Jackson Molesting From Beyond the Grave

Wade Robson is suing to get Michael Jackson’s estate to admit that Jackson was a child molester. Robson used to hang with Michael Jackson as a grade school kid when Webster was in the hospital having his bones kept tiny so he could make his family money. Robson testified in favor of Jackson in a previous trial, but has come to the realization that boys and grown men don’t typically finger each other’s asses when playing Eenie Meanie Miney Moe. Robson has a child of his own now and doesn’t want any dead pedophiles inflicting further harm on his family.

Since they did spend lots of unsupervised time together, there’s a solid chance Michael Jackson diddled the innocence right of Robson. Now that Jackson is dead and his Svengali like hold over the Neverland Kids Club is fading, expect more and more of the former supporter kids to start un-repressing wretched memories. The Jackson estate isn’t flush with cash, so I’d start doling out tangible assets to the claimants. Robson gets an Elephant Man femur and the mechanical rights to an Abbey Road single. The next guy gets The Glove and the right to punch Blanket in the face when he comes of age. If you were molested by Michael Jackson, act now before you wind up with nothing more than a dry handy from Katherine and a Forever Michael 8-track. There’s going to be a long line.

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