Miley Cyrus’ Homeless Hero Has A Warrant

By Matt August 27, 2014 @ 7:14 AM

Miley Cyrus’ attempt to redeem her coked up clit grinding at last year’s VMA’s fell flat when she had a homeless guy accept her Music Video award while she sat in the front row and mugged tearfully. I am not sure how much money someone has to pay you to utter these words but you would be better off blowing old men in bathroom stalls if you wanted to preserve your dignity:

“If you want to make positive change in the world right now, join us and go to Miley’s Facebook page.”

The homeless guy’s name is Jessie Holt and he took the opportunity to go into his hard luck story, which is clearly devoid of any responsibility on his part:

“I’ve survived in shelters all over the city. I’ve cleaned your hotel rooms, I’ve been an extra in your movies. I’ve been an extra in your life.”

Wait, are you an unfortunate homeless man or an out of work actor who was too good for restaurant service jobs? It turns out Holt has a warrant for his arrest in Oregon for breaking into an apartment. So apart from being a martyr serving society’s underbelly by doing the necessary things you don’t notice, Holt is also the guy who steals shit out of you car when you leave the doors unlocked. He has peered through your window at night to see if anyone is home. He has jacked your credit card when you left it in the Friday’s booth and taken it immediately to Best Buy to snake some cool Beats by Dre. Whenever people go out of their way to seem like heroes it’s a pretty solid indication they are self-serving assholes. That goes for both of them.

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    Al (Ted) Bundy 08/27/2014 08:55

    Wait, so this little punk is wanted by the cops 50 miles north of me for various jackassery? And he’s down in LA? Problem solved. Let him stay in Cali and proceed to buy his skanky weed down there…

  2. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 08/27/2014 09:34

    You are young and healthy. Get an education or a job. Dont commit crime. The sense of entitlement in this country is absurd.

  3. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 08/27/2014 09:37

    Let me get crazy. Split this country in two. When the libbys are bankrupt in five years, let them starve. The country will be libertarian again in 20 years and the US will be a multicultural power with the hardest working people who are the best in every field. The only hope left is to cut ties and let the libs sink.

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