Olivia Wilde’s Tit Looks Perfectly Natural

I can’t tell which is worse. Women who still pretend there’s a public breastfeeding controversy or people like me who drum up fake stories about public breastfeeding controversy as an excuse to show you a baby sucking on Olivia Wilde’s tit? We’re probably both going to hell.

Olivia Wilde and her publicist decided they wanted to make a profound statement about the naturalness of breastfeeding so they cleared out a set in a diner, dressed her in a $5,000 Cavilli designer gown, and got her to tit nuzzle her baby boy without any diapers on. That seems like an unnecessary risk to the dress but I’m sure when the kid sues someday for emancipation the naked baby photos in Glamour will be a key exhibit.

Being shot with Otis is so perfect because any portrait of me right now isn’t complete without my identity as a mother being a part of that. Breast-feeding is the most natural thing. I don’t know, now it feels like Otis should always be on my breast.

I wonder how this might be affecting Jason Sudeikis and the couple’s publicized sex marathons. It’s so much harder to get it up for round two when there’s an infant suckling your preferred tit. But I guess sex marathons is one of those things that perhaps fades away after children come. Much like Jason will himself in short order. I wish life wasn’t so predictable. I also wish that stupid baby would move its big stupid head.

Photo credit: Glamour Magazine