Sideshows Leave Cool People Torn

By Matt August 21, 2014 @ 7:41 AM

‘Sideshows’ are becoming a popular spectacle in San Francisco. They involve doing crazy shit with your car in cool locations like the Golden Gate Bridge. To pull off a Sideshow you need to have a bunch of your boys flanking you so they can slow down and block traffic while you take a hit of crank and then do donuts in your early model Camaro. On one hand this is cool for the public because they get to see some car tricks up close for free. On the other hand I hope they sick the Ferguson PD on these assholes because traffic in San Francisco has already slowed down to an acid flashback time warp. Let alone the potential to injure pedestrians or god forbid dent your bumper, because I am guessing these guys insurance situations are sketchy. If you happen to get caught in a Sideshow you should record the license plate number of the car. Don’t let them see you writing it down so you don’t get followed home where they’ll notice your flatscreen TV and pretty mouth. Try and memorize it, which will be hard because you’ll be distracted by the cool doughnuts and brodies. I forgot how awesome those are.

wwtdd

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    miche the killer 08/21/2014 10:17

    There’s nothing quite as limp as a San Francisan in a tizzy.

  2. avatar
    DrainBammage 08/21/2014 12:40

    So an aging fudgepacker can wish death to a bunch of guidos in Camaros burning a thousand dollars worth of tires but if someone wished for a tanker to slam into old cum guzzler during his fsckfest parade that would be a hate crime?

    Cross your fingers then and just wish that the AIDS coursing through his diseased veins just takes soon.

  3. avatar
    JLColorado 08/21/2014 14:34

    ” DrainBammage 08/21/2014 12:40

    So an aging fudgepacker can wish death to a bunch of guidos in Camaros burning a thousand dollars worth of tires but if someone wished for a tanker to slam into old cum guzzler during his fsckfest parade that would be a hate crime?

    Cross your fingers then and just wish that the AIDS coursing through his diseased veins just takes soon.”

    You type like you are having a seizure or jerking off, or maybe you are really talented and can do both. Or is your step-mom your cousin and also your sister?

    Gay-bashing is just lazy. If you’re going to spew ignorant hate here, at least make it entertaining.

    Your Retarded.

  4. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 08/21/2014 17:43

    Hey JL,

    Nobody cares about you or your faggot friends.

    BTW, *you’re*.

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