Women who go topless at the beach seem incredibly more friendly and trustworthy. It’s like offering the palms up gesture when encountering a Masai warrior. I have nothing to hide. Let us share a mug of blood together. This Italian actress gives me a strong sense of security. Unlike everybody else on Miami Beach who is hiding God knows what beneath their bikini tops. Explosives, melanoma, Ciara’s penis. It’s the uncertainty that breeds anxiety. Every woman under 140 should be topless by some edict. The women born with the genes that curse them to be large, we probably don’t need to trust them.
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