Casey Batchelor in a Bikini

Who knew what kind of world could open up to you just by taking down your tits a few letter grades. This British reality star, an occupation that we used to just politely call party girl, has seen her life change for the better since she surgically reduced her fake cans. Not so small that rich dudes won’t invite you to party on their yachts, but within chest size geometrics that allow for a strapless bikini. You still probably can’t rotate your still impressive hooters below your center of gravity. You will fucking tip supine. I saw a rather large stripper do that. Watching her try to right herself was simultaneously fascinating and horrible. Like watching a dry land tortoise try to flip back onto all fours. I guess I could have helped, but shame froze most of my voluntary muscles.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI