Edie Falco Needs a Bike Lock

Edie Falco reported her bicycle stolen at a Manhattan police station. Falco claims to have had three other bikes recently stolen as well. She shrugged off her habit of flushing titanium alloy down the toilet with “It’s New York, stuff gets stolen.” Yeah, true, but four bikes seems like a lot and makes me wonder if you’re actually locking your bikes or maybe this is your way of getting more criminals to ride in Manhattan rather than drive a vehicle.

Urban bike riders are naturally pretty severe in their proselytizing of their anti-car lifestyle. Many have even given their lives for this cause, not to mention tons of bird flipping and banging of bike pumps like angry children on the front hoods of cars. I’m guessing these aren’t clunker bikes either. When I was a kid and my crappy bike got stolen, my dad told me to go track down the criminals and get it back. Like I had access to the FBI database and some solid leads at age eleven. Edie Falco probably smiles as she sees people riding by on her stolen bikes while she sips on herbal tea in the Village. Mission accomplished.

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