Justin Bieber is one of those drunk hicks on Cops who thought he was shooting a possum that turned out to be his mildly retarded older brother, Billy. Except he’s that dumbass with $100 million in the bank. Which means he’s a dangerous fucking idiot weapon. Bieber got arrested again, this time in rural Canada. He crashed his ATV with both he and Selena Gomez in the bitch seat into a mini-van. Naturally, he started threatening the mini-van occupants with his hair products. Canada is not big enough for Justin Bieber and you.
If you know anything about minivan occupants, you can only imagine the toughies he was challenging to impress his woman. I remember being arrested once in my youth for a minor offense and being run through the ringer. Bieber seems to be on about number seven here and he’s likely to get ‘must sing Anne Murray song at Edmonton Oilers half time show’ as the full extent of his punishment. I’m starting to fall in line with the true believers who always spout that ‘God will call him to answer’. I just hope when Bieber answers it’s something Old Testament horrific and I get to watch with my 3-D glasses.
Photo credit: PCN