Kim Kardashian Attacked, Booed, and Pretty Shoddily Raised

According to the Kardashian fueled celebrity press machine, Kim Kardashian was nearly struck down in Paris by COBRA hellbent on thwarting her social progress for women and the poor and rappers with big cocks who can’t afford to live in Los Angeles. Think of her as an Indira Ghandi or Golda Meir, if those ladies had chosen not to wear bras to get more attention. In reality, Kim was merely the latest victim of that Speedo wearing Ukranian paparazzi who likes to lick the nads of celebrities and for some reason hasn’t yet been packed into a bag and thrown into a river. Once the heat from the Kim as Christ framing wears off, she’ll start mentioning how she and Brad Pitt and Will Smith all have the same stalker.

The entire inane fashion show was held up forty minutes for Kim and Kanye who were running late because they chick who waxes their nipples in Paris got stuck on her moped in a traffic circle. When Kim entered the show, she got roundly booed by the French fashion photographers who were put out from the wait. Also, since they’re French, they hate everybody. Kanye went over to the booing photographers to tell them the harrowing tale nobody believes of his father also being a paparazzi, but none of them spoke English or gave a shit so Kanye just ordered his bodyguards to punch them in their coifs. He’s becoming more legally savvy as he journeys through life.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI