Kim Kardashian Making More Babies

According to the celebrity asslinguists at HollywoodLife, Kim Kardashian is over the haters who called her Shamu the last time she got pregnant and all her previously imprisoned fat cells multiplied at rates that made even Ebola jealous. Kim’s now ready to have a legitimate baby. A little nugget to add to her collection of future exploited child stars and aborted fetuses Kris buried in the pet cemetery next to the gun Khloe consumed en masse after her marital breakup. You can see Kim here leaving the doctors office in those stretch pants Lululemon recalled because they were too sheer for fat women.

The thought of more Kardashian babies appeals to me as much as the Israelis feel knowing the Palestinians are reproducing at two to three times their rate. At some point, the bad people are forming a human ladder and coming over any wall we build. I have a nightmare about dozens of new Kardashians fucking around in Range Rovers and calling out haters on the Internet with poorly worded inspirational phrases. Maybe military technology will someday invent a neutron bomb that leaves Calabasas intact and only wipes out the assholes. Or it could wipe out the city as well, a small price to pay for the genetic cleansing.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News