Miranda Lambert In A Bikini

Fuck, there go the Miranda Lambert fatty jokes she claims she never reads in the tabloids though responds with exclamation points to every single one of them on social media. She was particularly pissed when people claimed the jiggly pounds she dropped recently was due to some doctor tying rubber bands around her digestive tract. Miranda wanted everybody to know she lost weight the old fashioned way. Amphetamine sandwiches and jogging on the treadmill while watching her old fat self on CMT. She also claims her marriage to Blake Shelton is stronger than ever. Mostly just so she can remind people she’s married to Blake Shelton. Also perhaps it’s a veiled threat at all the women Blake is banging while she’s on the treadmill burning off the 3-calories of sweetener they use to coat the speed pills. Just another day in Paradise.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI