Sarah Hyland’s Ex-Boyfriend Has Too Much Free Time

There’s no way to evaluate whether or not your current squeeze is someday going to be your future crazy fucking ex. Actually, there is, but in the days of fresh sex and pet names, you’re too drunk with quim to notice. There certainly is a solid way to tell if somebody will have the time, energy, and fragile ego to be one ginormous pain in the ass ex. As a for instance, they’re an out of work child actor. That sounds like a guy who might snap, has every single waking hour free from obligation, and a shitload of knowledge about cell phones and social media accounts.

Sarah Hyland just got a restraining order against High School Musical 3 actor Matt Prokop because after five years of dating, he didn’t take their breakup so well. According to Hyland, he was an abusive prick for almost the entire time they dated. Why she chose to stay with such a manipulative and violent asshole will be likely have to wait for her TV talk show appearances. Suffice it to say, she was young and she’s a hero. Over the summer he started calling her a cunt for dressing too showy and choking her in not the fun David Carradine way. When she finally called it quits, he threw a lighter at her, threatened to burn down her house, then sent her a bunch of frightening texts saying he was going to kill himself, or her, or their malitpoo. That’a a shitty dog young celebrities purchase together to look adorable in Us Weekly, at least between the beatings.

If I were Hyland’s dad I’d probably go and beat this kid with a garden rake. That wouldn’t stop him from continuing to stalk her, but it would still be fun. The precise tool used to finish him off would be something I’d be sure to Google on somebody else’s computer. When they’d come to search my Chrome, they’d just find ‘How to Be Super Helpful to Abusive Dickwads’ articles.

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