Stripper Sues Jerry Jones

September 11, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments

Stripper and humanitarian Jana Weckerly, who took the photos of Jerry Jones’ drunken bathroom boner festival, is now suing Jones over the sexual shenanigans that happened that same evening. Weckerly claims Jones touched her privates, made her touch his crinkly Cowboy, and forced her to watch while he got a blow job from another chick with that Jedi Mind Trick that forbids you from leaving the room and wandering half naked through a wide hallway with coke drip. Jones’ lawyers have responded in full force trying to make Weckerly and her lawyer cry like toddler extortionists:

“These allegations are completely false. The legal complaint is unsupported by facts or evidence of any kind. This is nothing more than an attempt to embarrass and extort Jerry Jones. This is a money grab by a lawyer who is a solo practitioner just trying to make a name for himself.  The alleged incidents would have been more than five years old. We intend to vigorously contest this complaint and expect it will be shown for what it is — a shakedown. Due to the seriousness of these baseless allegations, we have also involved law enforcement.”

Suing a billionaire for unwanted diddling seems like a great idea until you have to deal with all the fucking paperwork. Weckerly’s lawyer claims she is currently ‘taking medicine’ to deal with the trauma of that evening, or will be when she remembers precisely which of the ten thousand old man dicks she’s stroked belong to Jones. I also find doing shots of Wild Turkey in titty bars helps ease the pain of ages birth to thirty though unlike Weckerly I can’t pinpoint the pain to one specific evening. It’s more questionable decision making that leads you to watching a AARP platinum member getting blown on a comforter by your gal pal. Weckerly is suing for $1 million dollars stuffed into her panties five bucks at a time. Good luck, Jana, and don’t forget to update your LinkedIn profile.

Photo Credit: Facebook 

Tags: jerry jones