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Bake Me Some Gay Cakes!

October 2, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Here’s an idea. If you’re big on literal Leviticus, maybe don’t run a cake shop in a Blue State. If you’re not so big on the gays, you might also want to nix your business plans for ballroom dancing lessons, cruise tours to the Bahamas, and sodomy made simple classes. Oregon is the latest state to crush a bakery business for refusing to make a blushing brides cakes for a gay wedding.  The state sued the shit out of Melissa Klein and her husband’s anti-lesbian wedding pastry shop and put it out of business, thereby denying straight people in Oregon who haven’t gotten married since the 70’s the right to wedding cakes as well. Melissa took to the Values Voter Summit to cry over her outlaw love of making the perfect cake for the perfect heterosexual bride.

The authoritarian hammer of the state is pretty disheartening for anybody who’s ever smoked a joint and lied about making it through an Ayn Rand novel. Liberty never gets so pragmatic as when people demand civil rights for themselves by crushing those of their neighbors. At the same time, if you happen to be in the pastry business, make some damn sweets for men who lie down with other men for fuck’s sake. Sweaty man lovers need tarts too. And the lesbos, fuck, they need their sugar. We’re past the point of arguing gay marriage at this point. At least Oregon is. There are plenty of places you can open up shop in this country and not have to see gays and rain every day if that’s your thing.

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