Chelsea Handler’s Left Tit Is Kind of Disappointing

Knowing the hackers attempted twenty thousand passwords to break into Kate Upton’s account while they tried ‘WillFuckForWork’ with yours and then moved on hit Chelsea Handler’s ego somewhat hard. She pretends to be a rock, just like she pretends to be a comedian, but deep down, it has to wound any woman to know she wasn’t picked for the nude photos violations team. No, that’s not tantamount to saying women want to be raped, shut the fuck up.

Chelsea responded to her exclusion from the photo hacking scandal by posting a picture of her tit to Twitter. I found the visual experience more sad than thrilling. Kind of like when you step into a strip club at 2pm on a Monday and see the girls working the dregs shift with bruises from their stepdad still visible. I stick around and throw them a couple bones. I too would like to enter the kingdom of heaven.