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Ebola Nurses Seem Like Assholes

October 30, 2014 | WTF | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

Every health worker coming back from West Africa seems pretty fucking douchey about being the one to decide the Hot Zone rules. Kaci Hickox is that Doctors Without Borders nurse who fat governor Christie threw into an E.T. containment tent the minute she got back from Ebola Central and tested positive for a fever. Hickox spent about two seconds in forced quarantine before she started calling her attorney, CNN, and Dr. Nancy Snyderman to grab her some soup and stop by for a visit. Obama and the medical community cautioned everybody about overreacting to Ebola so that they could insidiously import more Ebola. It’s some kind of Ebola multi-level marketing scheme where they’re all getting rich on.

Christie told Hickox the only way she was getting out of her Saran Wrap prison in Newark was if she got her attitude and her Ebola risk the fuck out of New Jersey completely. So she did. To Maine, where she was asked by the authorities to home quarantine herself for a couple more weeks to ensure she wasn’t infected. Which she did, for about an hour, before taking a bike ride with her friend. Because Ebola nurses are assholes.

What all these humanitarian medical workers know is that Ebola is rather difficult to transmit casually and that even if you do flare up, it’s like a herpes, they have plenty of time to call their dates and come up with a fake excuse for canceling on dinner. What asshole doctors and nurses don’t know is that the rest of us don’t give a shit about their science. We don’t even want you creating a the appearance of Ebola, or the panic and social cost that surrounds it. It’s not irrational to overreact to a virus that makes you shoot diarrhea out of your eye sockets until you die. It is completely selfish not to accept a 21-day quarantine after sticking your hands into Ebola patients in West Africa. Buy some Harry Potter books, get a decent cable package, and shut the fuck up for three weeks. Asshole.

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