Notre Dame freshman Justin Brent will not be disciplined for ‘dating’ porny Lisa Ann in all her holes. Notre Dame maintains the right to reprimand students for having premarital sex, but there is no proof Brent and Ann got it on. If this were a court of law the circumstantial evidence would be overwhelming, but Notre Dame strictly requires high def images of sexual penetration from the cameras they’ve mounted in dorm bed posts and campus chapel pews. Also, there must be the sworn testimony of five witnesses, none of whom were masturbating while witnessing.
Brent was forced to have a conversation with his coach about the dangers of social media which no doubt ended with a high five and a lecture from Brent on how to torrent Nailin’ Palin. In the meantime school officials will have their eye on Brent. He’s free to keep earning them money, but if his dick leaves his pants he could earn a Scarlett Letter. This should motivate him to turn out the lights while banging every white chick on campus.
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