Jeff Garlin Preferred Selena Young and Fresh

Jeff Garlin protested too much while discussing Selena Gomez. He worked with her on The Wizards of Waverly Place when she was a teen and he played her uncle which makes this whole thing creepier:

“I worked with her for three years, and I love her. She is, at least in terms of what I saw, a great kid. But then I see her sexualized. I know she was in ‘Spring Breakers’ and all that. By the way, I saw ‘Spring Breakers,’ and I’m by myself in the theater, and I couldn’t have felt dirtier.”

Just watching a Harmony Korine flick in the theater by yourself qualifies as predatory behavior. He’s the straight John Waters. The entire idea of his movies is to jump out from behind the Dateline screen and yell, aha, you like underaged girls just like me! Garlin got worse in his quest to not admit he wants to bang indeterminately young ass:

“When I see her sexualized, I look at her and I look at Ariana Grande, both beautiful girls. Really beautiful girls. But they have baby fat. They look like kids… by the way when she’s thirty she’ll be ridiculous.”

They are both old enough to be college graduates. Its not weird to want to fuck them. Its weird to watch their movies. That’s how you can tell normal guys from fringe perverts. Any normal guy would bang Gomez for a few weeks. Perverts deny it and then go look up Japanese school girl tarantula insertions. That’s Garlin’s camp. Being fat and jolly gives you a ton of leeway on these matters. Imagine if Gilbert Gottfried said this shit. I’m not sure Garlin should be playing any more uncles.

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