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October 28, 2014 | video | matt-ralston | 0 Comments
When you’re a mustached middle management ex jock shelling out several hundred bucks a ticket to watch the worst team in the NFL suffer another loss, you tend to be on edge. The traffic getting there was shitty, the game is fucking frustrating, and that fifth pull of Southern Comfort in the parking lot gave you wicked heartburn. There are only a few options at this point. Sit there stewing in your tiny seat waiting to return home and beat your wife or kids, pull a gun in a road rage incident and await suicide by cop, or find the nearest guy talking shit and clock him in the face. If possible make sure the guy is stumbling blind drunk because you’re really not that tough.
There’s something to be learned here. Stay at home, watch the game for free, and try to bargain basement your wife into a halftime blow job on the couch. So what if you’re doing dishes for the next week, at least you can flip to Con Air in disgust after the nail in the coffin pick six and avoid prosecution. Plus the beers are a lot cheaper. Buy your kid a new bike. Pull your head out of your ass.