Miley Cyrus’ Homeless Hero Jailed

Miley Cyrus’ homeless guy she let speak out for the rights of struggling male models at the MTV VMAs is going to jail. The devilishly handsome shelter dweller Jesse Helt violated his probation by breaking into an apartment so he could get drug money to achieve that heroin tramp look aspiring models crave. And also he probably wanted the heroin. When he appeared on the MTV awards show with Cyrus, the authorities took notice. He’ll be spending the next six months in jail where he will have ample time to brush his teeth and figure out his purpose in life, which is almost certainly not giving bullshit speeches about the perils of not landing the Hugo Boss campaign to crowds full of screaming teenagers who can’t fathom your pain.