Rednecks Not Supporting Tits

Redneck Heaven, a Hooter’s inspired rip off in Texas, has been forced to abandon their popular ABC (Anything But Clothes) Nights where servers would incompetently wait tables in just body paint. The City Council of Lewisville passed a special law to prohibit topless waitresses which proves all politicians are assholes.

Apparently the body paint offended a number of moms who walked into Redneck Heaven thinking it was the Boston Market where they usually pick up the dinner they pretend is homemade for their family. The offended customers wrote letters and the town elders made the titties verboten, removing a certain joy from the world, as well as the half decent tips these waitresses and likely single moms were getting to cover their rent. Bravo, offended people, you have made everyone but yourself miserable. You have won.

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