Selena Gomez Likes to Challenge Her Breasts

Selena Gomez is in some new movie with Bill Macy which means I won’t see it until Amazon Prime tells me everybody’s raving about it in about 2017. Selena Gomez recently told Us Weekly which I’m pretty sure just makes up celebrity quotes that she’s proud to say she earns all her movie roles and insists on auditions. Which is nice of her not just to roll onto the set of Star Wars and say, take a fucking step back everybody, your new Princess Leia is here. Selena constantly calls on a valuable bit of advice she heard from a friend:

If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

I guess her friend is Michael Dell. I remember thinking how fucking stupid he sounded when he first said that. I will actively search out groups of low functioning people just to be the smartest person on the room. Then I’ll sell them some alpacas and timeshares in Northern Syria. I’ll convince the good looking women among them I’m a Hollywood producer and have some short lived, but memorable sex. Then I’ll leave them with a fake business card that says my name is Ben Dover and I live in Your Pants. You can’t have that kind of blind success if you’re the dumbest. That smartest person in the room bullshit only makes sense to guys who are already billionaires and young movie stars with nice tits.

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