Sexy Ebola Halloween Costumes Because America Can’t Be Beat

I’m still not sure why 75 million adults dress up in costume each October. When I was a kid, even the kids barely had costumes. You had ghost (white bed sheet), Dracula (plastic fangs) or hobo (dad’s ratty coat and a prop cigar). When old ladies answered the trick or treat bell, they’d say, oh, look we have an adorable ghost and a vampire and a ghost, another ghost, another vampire, and six vagabonds. How fucking original. Here, have an apple with a razor blade inside. Now Halloween is drunken slutty adult party time. Why not take the world’s hippest new disease and turn it into an opportunity to get banged by a costume cowboy in a coat closet. Now you can, with the Sexy Ebola Containment Suit for Halloween.

As the deadly Ebola virus trickles its way through the United States, fighting its disease is no reason to compromise style. The short dress and chic gas mask will be the talk of Milan, London, Paris, and New York as the world’s fashionistas seek global solutions to hazmat couture

The costume is receiving the customary amount of blowback from people saving the world one self-righteous Internet comment at a time. Dressing like Satan or the whore version of a Disney character is cool, but mocking the opéra bouffe that is our nation’s reaction to Ebola is verboten. My only concern is the short sleeves on the outfit. That definitely seems like a place where contaminated diarrhea can lodge, if your Halloween party gets particularly out of control.