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The NFL Prostrates Itself

October 1, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston | 0 Comments

The NFL said the Kansas City Chiefs’ Husain Abdullah should not have gotten a penalty flag for Unsportsmanlike Conduct when he slid to his knees for a quick Muslim prostration end zone celebration on Monday Night Football. The league issued a statement clarifying their policy of being completely whitewashed and pussified, yet somehow chalk full of violent criminals:

“The officiating mechanic in this situation is not to flag a player who goes to the ground as part of religious expression, and as a result, there should have been no penalty on the play.”

Religious expressions are fine. It’s the sliding where you get the infraction. You can score a touchdown, imitate the beheading of a Western journalist, and yell death to America, just no fucking sliding. It’s bad for the turf. In general, players are encouraged to wait until after the game and properly celebrate by popping off rounds in a nightclub. Abdullah agreed with the league and found a way to make his religious expression conform technically to the NFL’s policy of making their players appear as soulless drones:

“The prostration is all right. It’s the slide. Come to a full stop, get down, make the prostration, get up and get out.”

Abdullah is taking the inconsequential incident in stride, proving all Muslims are not insane extremists looking to twist everything into an assault on their faith. Also that my ignorant Muslim beheading stereotype was pretty out of bounds. Only a minuscule fraction of Muslims have any interest in beheading you. Though if you happen to run into one, those remote stats probably won’t offer you much consolation.

Tom Brady’s god Jesus was not available for comment on why he allowed the pick six in the first place.

Tags: husain abdullah




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