Don’t Fuck With A Nude Katy Perry

Katy Perry was trying to enjoy a quiet day butt naked at a nude beach in Australia like the Constitution mandates and started getting hassled by photographers. To not draw attention to themselves the paparazzi stripped naked as well and continued bothering Perry and her friends and probably jerked off in some bushes. They apparently snapped some photos of Perry’s lady parts and offered to trade them for some bikini posing shots. At this point Perry said fuck it, tucked her labia in, and wrote a solid Twitter diatribe.

“Also remember Jamie Fawcett [famed Aussie paparazzi] we hv pictures of ur tiny penis & rather large gut. Ur a true sicko for taking pictures of us while being naked.”

Point Perry. Not for spelling obviously. But that sicko comment had to hurt a guy going for a $100,000 paycheck for five minutes of work. Katy posted retaliations photos of the other paparazzi in an apparent attempt at shaming because like holocaust deniers paparazzi are so very easily shamed. At some point you just have to chalk it up to the fact you’ve made a fortune in large part because you’ve got a body people want to see naked. I’d make it more of a game. Take off your clothes in more places and hire a special forces sniper who takes out the paparazzi who go for the golden snap. Maybe he doesn’t need to kill them, just assure they will never walk again with a shot to the spine. It’s that or more nasty Tweets and I think we all know which is more humane.

Photo Credit: Twitter