Steve Cohen Drops $100 Million On Mediocre Sculpture

Billionaire hedge fund manager and status queen Steve Cohen just dropped over $100 million dollars on a dumb looking Alberto Giacometti sculpture called ‘Chariot’. Cohen is fresh off an SEC fine of $602 million bucks for insider trading, so this is a nice way to rub in the fact that although he got crazy busted he is still super loaded and probably somehow buying this shit with your beer money. Cohen spends 20% of his income on art, which means lots of money for dead Swiss sculptors.

I’d always thought the entire point of art was to get laid. I suppose having a $100 million piece of soldered shit in your foyer guarantees that when you bring s date home. But rich guys shouldn’t need to do this. The Lambo lined with news clippings of your net wealth should suffice. Questionable art should be left for eccentric widows and foreign despots. Rich men should buy sports teams and trophy wives. You don’t need art when a 22-year old Soul Cycle instructor is sucking the poison out of you in your luxury owners skybox.

Photo Credit: Getty Images