CIA Torture Report, Meh

Reading about radical Muslims hellbent on killing Americans being savagely beaten, mind-fucked, and having raisin hummus fired up their anuses all I could think about was, who the fuck cares? These are barbaric dudes meeting a barbarian’s fate. As a nation, we probably shouldn’t have secret backrooms in pierogi shops in Poland where we fire chickpeas up hairy dudes asses until they say uncle, but everybody has their vices. Torturing serial killers isn’t really all that bad on the grand master list of shitty things  you can do in life. It’s not even close to threatening to move your NFL franchise unless you get a taxpayer funded stadium or wearing a ponytail as a guy.

All of the weird overly made-up walking corpses we call Congresspeople waving around this CIA torture report have themselves authorized warfare and bombings and destruction to countless number of collaterally innocent people. Far more in number than the hundred high value Al Qaeda targets the CIA made listen to Blues Traveler on shuffle repeat until they snapped. It’s quite likely the intel gleaned from coercion wasn’t all that reliable. But that’s not fully what this was about. War is an ugly business. You don’t like the ugly, get out of the business. You start parsing what is more or less moral in a brutal endeavor and you will only end up looking like Diane Feinstein. You do not want that. Choose the hummus enema if given the option.

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