Think of all the women in this world who cut, savage, and deform their bodies just so some percentage of lonely bastards might enjoy a good wank. These ladies are the real Santa Clauses. Not the fat old man who delivers presents to children around the world minus Africa because he’s racist. Think about the girl who says I’ll take needles full of centrifuged fat in my ass cap just so some guy in Muncie can splooge into a sock and make his life a little less miserable. By forty, I’m doomed to being the neighborhood freak that schoolchildren run from in horror, but for now, imagine finishing your thankless deed on my titty munificence. That’s true Christmas spirit. The rest of the world just seems like takers.
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