Everybody Has a Voice on Twitter, Who the Fuck Came Up With That Plan?

Thinking you deserve to be heard mostly makes you a dick. It’s a new facet of human existence that began when adults stopped whipping kids for expressing their feelings and started given them gluten free candies for being emotionally awesome. I distinctly remember a P.E. teacher in grade school telling me to shut my trap because nobody cared what I had to say. What a totally correct dick. 99% of the world couldn’t care less what anybody without tits and a pretty face has to say about anything. Obama couldn’t even get air-time to talk about giving five million Mexicans the right to keep working for shit wages in IHOP kitchens.

With the rise of social media, everybody feels the world needs their weigh in. The 49ers GM’s daughter declared on Twitter that her dad needs to fire the Offensive Coordinator after the Niners barely scored three points in a stumbling loss to the Seahawks on Thanksgiving.

Thanks, college co-ed daughter of the GM. I’m sure pops is happy to have your input. This is just football, but what happens when teen girls start weighing in on their doctor dad’s medical diagnosis, or when Darren Wilson’s next door neighbor declares he’s glad his Sunday football watching buddy shot some darkie gangster? Shit’s going to burn. In the old days, determined cranky people had to get out a piece of paper, type an angry letter to the editor, find a fucking stamp, and mail it off in hopes a week later it might get published and three people would see it. Now it’s fifteen seconds and one click publishing for unfiltered spew the entire world can read. This is our last millennium as a species.