FEMEN Protestor Snatches Baby Jesus

Everybody loves a good abortion. But do you love it enough to snatch up the Baby Jesus at the Vatican manger scene on Christmas and make a run for it? You’re inevitably going to be arrested by a dude with a cape and thrown in a medieval dungeon for forty years. Actually, they let the FEMEN abortion rights protestor go after 24 hours when the lay guards became super uncomfortable with a woman reciting the names of Saints she’d like to take in her liberated vagina. These strident euro feminists aren’t settling for bogus campus rape stories or pretending Lena Dunham is witty, they’re penning stupid shit on their tits and going right where old rich white men are plotting to take away their right to freshen up their uteri with suction and a rinse. It’s hard not to admire topless chicks with enormous balls.

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