Something about Hilary Duff just looks smart. It might be the Henry Miller book title on her non-ironic printed tee. Intelligent people love Henry Miller. Maybe it’s the baby carrots. Forming root vegetables to look like little boy penises is just plain business smart. Wait, fuck, it’s the thick framed black glasses. Only lesbians and scientists are allowed to wear those glasses. I don’t see Hilary munching any box, so she must be a scientist. This could be like Flowers for Algernon. Hilary might have to ditch the glasses in a week and go back to dating Aaron Carter. That would explain the baby carrots.
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