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December 11, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments
Kim Kardashian believes God was trying to teach her a lesson when she gained fifty pounds while pregnant and it had nothing to do with her Immaculate Consumption of Ben & Jerry’s or gluten free Dorritos Locos. In fact Kim was so fatigued during the process she couldn’t even formulate an intelligent sentence:
“I’d think God was doing this for a reason. He was saying: ‘Kim, you think you’re so hot, but look what I can do to you.'”
I don’t get God’s motivation here. If he’s in this to create moralistic anecdotes he would have downed you and your husband’s private jet in front of a Vietnamese sweatshop in a blaze of glory while some village kid put a cell phone in your hand and blasted selfies of your toasted corpse all over Twitter. This is precisely what happens when a whore gets some religion. Not enough to change her ways, just enough to make her think God spends half his day focused on her twat.
Photo Credit: Getty Images/FameFlynet/INF