Miley Cyrus Handles Her Schwarzenegger

Miley Cyrus finally found a fella that makes her smile even when she’s morning almost sober. You can’t really do better than a Schwarzengger. The way Maria and Arnold banged the shit out of everybody but each other for thirty years, it’s hard to declare his lineage with any certainty, but I bet he’s hoping his dad’s a foreign diplomat with real hair, not the incoherent roid bastard who cold porked the maid. Those are some heavy emotions. The kind that can only be assuaged as a randy platypus with her own daddy issues fondles your balls from the back of your Jet-Ski. Watching two young adults who hate their parents fuck each other’s brains out still makes me tear up.

Photo Credit: INF