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December 2, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston | 0 Comments
The New York Knicks threw a party celebrating their partnership with real estate mogul Douglas Elliman who agreed to pay the team a shitload of laundered money to own the rights to “Celebrity Row”, where the rich and famous watch the Knicks lose from courtside. Regulars include DiCaprio, Ben Stiller, Kanye West, one of the blonde Kates your mom thinks you should marry, and the crackhead guy from LMFAO. The party came on the heels of another Knicks loss. Sure they suck but who gives a shit besides their ornery fan base. Sports is a business. Trot out some scrubs, save money on the salary cap and pan to Liam Neeson twice per quarter since he has never heard of basketball and thinks the team with the lowest score wins. This should insure New Yorkers continue feeling sorry for themselves. Disparaging the Knicks is slightly more interesting than the endless praise of their fucking pizza. I’m relieved Ryan Gosling can bored text whilst being sponsored by the dude inflating rent for the 300 section.
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