Obama Girls Called Out as Trashy

Blindly partisan politics is like watching Eagles fans throw punches at Giants fans but without the sensory treat of fleshy jowls reverberating or ruddy wives trying to break shit up with curse words you haven’t heard since the 50’s. It drives Congressional staffers to write shit about the Obama girls looking like tarts because they’re wearing skirts and looking bored to shit at another one of dad’s lame ass produced press functions.

“Try showing a little class. At least respect the part you play. Then again, your mother and father don’t respect their positions very much, or the nation for that matter. So I’m guessing you’re coming up a little short in the ‘good role model’ department. Nevertheless, stretch yourself. Rise to the occasion. Act like being in the White House matters to you. Dress like you deserve respect, not a spot at a bar.”

— Elizabeth Lauten, spokeswoman for Congressman Stephen Fincher.

The Obama girls showing leg is what is consuming your Congressional agenda at the moment? Even I can’t pick on the Obama girls. What the fuck have they done? Do you think living in the White House matters to them or they’d rather be like other teen girls covering the stink of cheap weed during sleepovers and debating which gay Jonas brother would be straight for them. Being the Presidential kids sucks. Shackled kids in Bangkok sex tourism lean-to’s keep themselves sane by imagining how much worse it’d be to be the Obama kids. Some day, these kids will do some stupid shit worth panning. Stop calling girls bar trash because you have some reflexive hate for the Handsomest President ever.

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