Ray Rice’s Wife Has Faith

Ray Rice’s wife talked to Matt Lauer as he was pretending to pay attention while looking through his Little Black Book of his friend’s wives he is going to bang. Janay Rice believes it was divine intervention that led her fiance to pull a King Hippo across her face.

“I feel like God chose me and Ray for a reason, and it was definitely to bring awareness to what people are going through every day.”

She may want to look at the nurture side of this equation. Sure God often chooses wife beaters to get his point across when Clooney is busy filming, but it usually isn’t that complex. Sometimes you’re simply from a broken home and realistic about your options. Keep sucking his dick once a week and pretending its not gross. At least for the next 4.5 years or whatever the prenup stipulates. Spend your settlement on a graffiti artist to slander your dead alcoholic father’s tombstone. You may have beat my mom but I just drew a world class dick on your everlasting effigy. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

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