Santa Con Gets a Crappy Rap

Every year the media lays into the idiotic drunk costumed Santas who bar crawl around Manhattan until they start puking in the streets. It’s not nearly as genteel as the St. Patrick’s Day parade when everybody sips near beer and taps out the Lord of the Dance. Or the Gay Pride parade where baristas spit shine each other’s cock piercings so that sexually unsure children along the avenues can become wildly more certain.

For a little merrymaking fun, police this year organized the Santa Con to fuck right into the marchers protesting police brutality in the Eric Garner choking death. I can tell you which walkathon looked more fun. And more white. Though it would be hard to say which is going to affect more social change on the city. According to New Yorkers, both parades were the best public events ever and can’t possibly be as good anywhere else. If that city can’t come together around its shared arrogance, no city can.

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